The Story of my Immor(t)al Life
Style: Electronic Goth-rock
Release date: January 14th 2011
Playing time: 53:50

The only reason for you to read this review is morbid fascination. You'll read this for the same reason as you look at pictures of KZ prisoners or stare blindly on a car accident as it happens. I am going to slaughter this band and - please believe me - I do not enjoy doing that.

My first bucket of bile goes to the label "Crash and Burn" (a disappointingly non-ironic name) who sent me unnamed music files and a band bio / track list that only opens with the travesty called Word 2007. Impressed by such technical ineptitude I visited the label website to find more info. I clicked a picture of the band (a.k.a. the "ghotic metal mastermind"*) - which by the way is the only link from the news section that mention Archangel. That sent me to some random and dysfunctional page on ImageShack. Eventually I found the info I needed (like, uh... the names of the songs!), but all in all I'm not exactly awed by the prowess of Crash and Burn.

The second bucket of bile goes to the band - and probably the producer and some deaf guy posing as a manager.
According to the website bio (of which a third was covered by a strangely placed picture) there is only one singer - I'm not sure of the gender. This singer has quite a voice-range, from a tired Marilyn Manson to a drunk Peter Steele, but generally he/she/it just whine. Joke aside, a female singer is also featured on some songs, but I could find no mention of her anywhere. Though far from being special she's actually is not bad.

But the music! Imagine HIM drug-raping Nine Inch Nails. Then imagine what it would sound like if the resulting spawn started playing in a retro-pop band of the mid 1990's. Archangel obviously go for a sound between raw rock/metal and crystalline goth pop In the effort of combining them Archangel actually tune down both primal elements to a bland, boring and all too soft hybrid.

Too add more bile, I'll point out that this album contain a secret track. I hate such stupid antics, but at least it's not very secret. It opens just a couple of second after the alleged last track. The "official" last track is called "My Name is L...". The extremely elaborate occult cryptogram (the "L") stands for Lucifer, and this song completely turned my world around. If the devil sounds so lame when he introduces himself I'm switching teams! Go God!

More bile? The title of this album is "The Story of my Immor(t)al Life"... You know what? I'm just going to leave that as it is. I can't come up with anything more insulting than the name itself.

In case you are in doubt, I do not recommend that you buy this thing.

*This is a direct quote, I did not misspell "gothic".


01. Karmic Loops of Space and Time
02. Into Your Mysteria
03. Erase Me
04. Absinth
05. Sweet Harmony (The Beloved Cover)
06. Life After Death
07. Noir Love
08. My Erotic Ergotine
09. Never Say Goodbye
10. Emoteque
11. Underworld
12. My Name Is L.

13. Lonely in 2 (Secret track)

Label: Crash & Burn Records
Distribution: Twilight
Promotion: Gatti Promotion
Reviewed by: Martin Schjonning
Date: November 30th 2010
Website: Archangel @ MySpace