Defecate! Suffocate! Mutilate! Masturbate!
Style: Filth Metal/Porn-grind
Release date: November 11th 2009

The biggest joy of reviewing music is to stumble over something spectacular by coincidence, perhaps a tiny obscure band hidden in a dark corner of the earth, who hasn't managed to get a label-deal yet. While reviewing these little gems of music you wonder how come these bands maintain unsigned. At other times you accidently stumble over a “big pile of utter shit”. This particular “pile of shit” SOMEHOW gets a record deal and again... you gaze up to the sky wondering: “Howcome?”. 

Now let’s stick to the term “shit”, which seems to be the trademark for the band “Bakteria”.

Bakteria is from Mexico, they were founded in 1992 and somehow they have been able to hold on. Somehow the band has been thinking: “Hhmm.. This is actually pretty good, why don't we continue playing our music or whatever it is for another seventeen years”... And somehow, which is beyond me, they get at record-deal with Anstalt Records in 2009 (???). 

They play what they call “filth metal” and in the info-sheet you'll get the following info: 

“If you’re into punk, sludge and filthy shit, BAKTERIA is the right choice”. 

Okay, at least the info-sheet doesn't lie, actually the info-sheet is pretty accurate. But I have to admit, personally I don't have an addiction to shit. This could be a problem, because obviously I'm not part of the band's target-group.

Bakteria reminds me a bit of “Meatshits” (again the s-word appears): An uninspired combination of porn-grindcore and punk with lyrics that are more immature than a retarded version of “The Bloodhound Gang”, laying an eye on Bakteria's tracks-titles show the same case: 

Shit In the Pussy
Shit Vomit Enema Orgy
Kill, Fuck
Shit On Pubes

Etc. (Look at tracklist below) 

The titles speak for them-selves.

Now, if you think bands like “Nuclear Assault” are pretty cool and are completely in love with classics like “Hang The Pope” and don’t mind lyrics concerning shit and vomit, this COULD be worth checking out, if that’s not the case, you probably have (as the info suggests) “to be addicted to shit” to find something nearly enjoyable from this band, if that is the case you'll probably adore this.

I’ll score this 10/100.

5 points for the track “Hospital Fuck-Fest, which I think somehow is a pretty funny title.

And 5 points for the Album-titletrack for having at least a memorable chorus.



Platipus Bestiality


Sea Corpse


Shit Vomit Enema Orgy


Shit In The Vomit


Feed Feces To The Foetus


Colostomy Hemorrhoids


Kill, Fuck


Crib Death


Castarate With A Rusty Skate


Sloppy Fifths In A Pus Filled Twat


Feed The Starving With The Rich Mans Vomit


Defecate! Suffocate! Mutilate! Masturbate!


Hospital Fuck-fest


Chromosomes In The Toilet


Shit On My Pubes



Label: Anstalt Records
Promotion: Nuclear Blast GmbH
Reviewed by: Søren Hørlyk
Date: November 15th 2009