I have a seismograph in my head. Whenever music enters said head the little needle on the graph will draw a line. That line is drawn across a median – with a lot of low points and high points to follow. Some albums never register on this scale though, and I am afraid this is one of them.

Stahlmann keeps the needle locked on the median. It is a hybrid of krautrock, NDH and hard rock, but that is a very narrow hybrid to work within – and it is already taken by the band Megaherz. On top of that, a lot of bands playing similar hybrids, but with a far more original take have been around for many years. If you already know Die Krupps, Tanzwut, LetzteInstanz and Oomph! There is no reason to acquaint yourself with Stahlmann.

For those who do not know these bands: Stahlmann is marching drums, deep bass vocals in German, militant guitar-riffs that never ever transcends into virtuosity, and a lot of blip-blop noises from the synth in the corner. In short a monotone soul-less version of the bands mentioned above.

On the other hand – yes I do have two – nothing really annoys me about this album. It does not make me grind my teeth or shout at my stereo. It is the kind of bland musical experience that just blends into the background